[NOTE: The dialogue that follows below is an example of “satire.” Satire often utilizes exaggeration and silly images, and is certainly NOT meant to be taken literally. Rather, satire uses hyperbole and shock to illustrate a point.]
Setting: Heaven’s Throne Room. God is seated on the throne. Satan enters.
Satan: Hey God, it’s me.
God: Oh really, you again, what have you been up to?
Satan: Prowling around, looking for who I can devour. You know, the usual. But today I wanted to run something by you.
God: Oh really? What’s that?
Satan: I’d like to bring forth another anti-Christ, designed to deceive your people, particularly in the United States.
God: You know my true Church always stands strong in the end; I don’t know why you try all these pointless schemes. But sure, what do you have planned this time?
Satan: Well, I have a person in mind, and I’d like them to run for President. They’ll claim to be the most pro-Christian candidate ever elected. In so doing they’ll lead a majority of American Christians to become utterly confused about right and wrong.
God: Righhht [skeptical]…tell me more about this person.
Satan: Well, without getting too specific, this person is known to be very greedy and proud, and has a tendency to have lots of affairs and touch people inappropriately—despite being married! They’re also known to twist the truth and lie, even over very tiny facts-in other words, they’ll be fluent in speaking my native tongue. Not to mention, this person has a habit of cheating employees out of wages owed to them.
God: Wow—and you think this person can deceive my Church? Well OK, go on.
Satan: They’ll use foul language a lot.
God: Uh-huh.
Satan: And they’ll generally just criticize, insult, and relentlessly harass anyone who doesn’t immediately bow down in support before them. That’s especially true against women, foreigners, and people who aren’t white, but the target can be anyone.
God: Surely they’ll repent and asked for forgiveness for all these sins?
Satan: That’s the thing—the person I have in mind is so stubborn that they will never publicly repent, and will even claim they’ve never even had to ask YOU for forgiveness either!
God: Haha foolish indeed…now tell me about this person’s political priorities.
Satan: Well, this person LOVES hanging out with dictators and cutting backroom deals with them. Particularly those from North Korea, Russia, China, and other places where your people are persecuted. Not only that, but they’ll dramatically limit the number of Christian immigrants and refugees that are allowed to come into the United States.
God: [Scoffs] Hah-no way my people will let that happen. They love their brothers and sisters around the globe! I really doubt your plan will work, but go on.
Satan: This person also will discourage people from stewarding your creation, and instead will reward people who pollute the air, water, and soil.
God: [Shaking head] I’m sure by now my people in America will know better than to let that happen, but sure. Go on.
Satan: The key to my plan is this–I will deceive your people into affiliating so strongly with this person, that many of them will refuse to hear even the smallest criticism. They’ll call true statements about wrongdoing “fake”, and believe any embellishment that makes this person look good. It’ll get to the point, that people will lie about the truth in legal proceedings, even after swearing an oath on a Bible!
God: Look, I’m really struggling to believe you’ll get my entire Church in the US to actually follow this person.
Satan: Well, no, it won’t be everyone. Some will denounce this person, and others will vote for them only reluctantly and half-heartedly. But I figure if I can get a high enough percentage of your people (especially if they’re prominent figures in the Church) to publicly worship, whole-heartedly support, and even lie for this person, it will make you look so bad, that you’ll see a whole generation flat-out rejecting your son Jesus and the Church.
God: Wow. That is ambitious. But OK–you gotta tell me who you have in mind for this plan. This feels too far-fetched, who are you thinking? And which political party?
Satan: I’ll tell you, but I’m keeping it a bit secret right now, so keep it under wraps for now: [Satan whispers the person’s name in a low voice].
God: Hahahahha—You’re kidding right? THAT person?! Running in THAT party?
Satan: It’ll work!
God: No way. But I’ll tell you what. You have my permission to go ahead and try your plan. If my people in the US actually are deceived by this person, then they deserve every last judgment that is coming to them. I’ll let you sift each of them as wheat, to see whether their faith will fail–and if it does, whether or not they will turn back to me.
Satan: Understood. I’ll see you around.