Making Life Decisions After College

[Note: I recently published this as an article for Franklin & Marshal College’s TrueBlue alumni network, accessible to anyone affiliated with F&M by clicking here.]

Making decisions about one’s career and vocation is always challenging, and that’s especially the case during this global pandemic, when much of the economy is on hold. Yet, as someone who works with college students and recent alumni in central Pennsylvania, I often see people get stuck in very narrow modes of thinking about their careers, ending up trapped in indecision or languishing in jobs that aren’t a good fit. I’ll be sharing a few thoughts below, and while these are just a few of my personal reflections, hopefully there will be something that is helpful!

When I enrolled at Franklin & Marshall in fall 2008 as a double-major in History and Government, my plan after graduation was to go to law school and eventually become employed as a federal judge or politician. Suffice to say, none of that has gone according to plan. Instead, I worked as a middle school science teacher for two years in Baltimore, later married fellow alum Liz Albright Berg ’12, and then began a career with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship in central Pennsylvania. (Most excitingly, Liz and I are expecting our first child, due in October!). But, compared to my original plans, my career trajectory is one that might be considered “downward mobility.” My salary is lower than my parents’ and most of my college-educated peers, and my job title less prestigious. I live in a small Pennsylvanian town (Carlisle) that most people have never heard of. Despite all that, my life satisfaction, values alignment, and overall happiness have never been higher.

However, to get to this place I have sometimes had to make decisions that go against typical American capitalist values. Typically, society usually tells young adults that there are only two worthwhile metrics for making career decisions: how much an opportunity pays, and how prestigious it is. Thus we jealously admire those who acquire six-figure consulting jobs or who are accepted into Harvard Law right out of college. But while those are certainly relevant factors for choosing a career path, they are not the only ones. Besides pay and prestige, here are some other criteria that I believe can be helpful in making a decision in where to live, work, or attend grad school after college:

• Friends. Loneliness is an epidemic among young people. To fight that, some of my peers have intentionally chosen to live in places where their friends live, so that they have meaningful community and support close by. What if you prioritized living with a group of friends, and then looked for a job/grad program nearby?
• Geography & Culture. Some of my East Coast friends have taken opportunities to move out to the West Coast, the Rockies, or even to other countries, simply to be in a different climate and culture. Consider choosing a path that allows you to experience a new place and environment.
• Family. In the white American culture I grew up in, family obligations often took a backseat to individuals’ professional pursuits. But given the fragility of life exposed by the pandemic, perhaps it’s worth choosing to live in close proximity to parents, siblings, or other relatives so that one can enjoy time with them.
• Passions and Values. It’s often the case that our jobs don’t line up with our deepest, most important values, and that’s OK. Sometimes we just need something that pays the bills or is a stepping stone to another job. But that said, if an opportunity comes along to be paid to do something you’re passionate about…it might be the opportunity of a lifetime. For instance, I love helping young people grow on their spiritual journeys, so I jumped at the chance to work for InterVarsity even though it is less prestigious and pays less than some of the other options I was considering. It’s possible there is a job out there for you that fits your exact passions and values.
• Social Justice. Most young adults are passionate about fighting injustice, racism, and poverty, but aren’t sure how to do so. Consider living in a place where you can have an impact in that realm. Is there an organization you admire that you can volunteer for in a certain city, like Black Lives Matter, Amnesty International, or the Sierra Club? But consider–it may be that you can have an even bigger impact in a small town or rural area. As my mentor (Jesse North) once asked me, “Why does it feel like all the ‘woke’ people who care about social justice end up moving to cities? Suburbs and rural areas need people who are passionate about social justice too!” Perhaps returning to your hometown and starting a new social justice initiative is the best way you can give back to the village that raised you.
• Romance & Children. While it’s a bit counter-cultural in the college-educated demographic, who’s to say you shouldn’t get married and/or start raising children before you’re 25 or 30? While marriage isn’t for everyone, if you find the right person that you can be partnered for an entire lifetime with, it may be worth committing to them instead of chasing a job that you might leave in a few years anyway. For me personally, I got married just before turning 24 and will become a dad this fall; this is younger than most of my F&M peers, but I have no regrets.
• Growth Opportunities. Working for two years as a teacher in Baltimore city was an immensely challenging, difficult choice right after F&M. But I wouldn’t have skipped that growing experience for anything. I grew in confidence, skills, and awareness of my own privilege and inner biases. What if instead of chasing a high-paying job, you looked for one to grow you in a certain skill or virtue? Consider checking out the Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, Habitat For Humanity, or other similar opportunities that stretch you in mind, body, and soul.
• Faith Community. If you actively practice a certain faith or form of spirituality, it’s important to find a like-minded community where you can practice it alongside other people. (Note: digital faith communities are fine during coronavirus, but usually are not a good long-term substitute for actually meeting in person). Unfortunately, depending on where you want to move, it may be difficult to find a suitable community that meets your needs. So if you’re religious, consider: is there a faith community near where you want to live and work? Does that community reflect your perspectives on core questions of faith, or will you experience significant dissonance?
• Cost of Living. Imagine two job offers: one job is located in Manhattan and pays $75k a year, and the same job pays $70k in upstate New York. All else being equal, you will most likely make a lot more money living in upstate NY simply due to lower cost of living. Consider also how smaller, cheaper cities like Baltimore or Pittsburgh might be a better choice compared to bigger cities.
• Commuting Distance. Do you hate long commutes, or do you find they are an opportunity to read and listen to podcasts? Given how much most of us sit for our jobs, it’s worth considering if you’re willing to face a long commute or not.

At the end of the day, deciding what to do and where to live after graduation is complex, and there is usually not one “right” answer. I personally believe that there is usually a plethora of paths that a person can take, most of them just as good as the next. But it may be helpful to consider some of the criteria listed above when determining what is actually the best path forward, rather than reflexively going for the job that pays a few bucks more. Money is necessary for food and clothes (and Lord knows we need those), but life is so much more than that.