A Bible story from John … paraphrased for 2023

[Read the actual Bible story from John 8:2-11 here.]

At dawn Jesus appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught being problematic. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught being problematic. The law of Twitter tells us to cancel such people. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. [Either he would have to defend her problematic behavior, or he would have to join the mob in canceling her.]

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who has never done anything problematic be the first to cancel her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one canceled you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I cancel you,” Jesus declared. “Go and sin no more.”