A Bible story from John … paraphrased for 2023

[Read the actual Bible story from John 8:2-11 here.]

At dawn Jesus appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught being problematic. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught being problematic. The law of Twitter tells us to cancel such people. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. [Either he would have to defend her problematic behavior, or he would have to join the mob in canceling her.]

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who has never done anything problematic be the first to cancel her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one canceled you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I cancel you,” Jesus declared. “Go and sin no more.”

Master Yoda

[I find it fascinating that a significant portion of Jesus’ teachings are in the form of parables: simple narratives used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson. More frequently than logical arguments, sermons, or speeches, Jesus utilizes the power of story to communicate truths to his followers. Despite that, modern Christians often prioritize logic over narrative. In order to push back against that a little bit, here is one of my past attempts to communicate a truth about God via a parable. I have titled it “Master Yoda.” ]

Master Yoda? Credit: British Library

A young Jedi Knight once sent a request for a meeting with Master Yoda. Master Yoda sent back a message– “Meditating, I am, in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.” Not wishing to disturb, the young Jedi waited. The next day, he sent the same request. This time, Yoda replied: “In the training room, I am.” The next day, the young Jedi sent his request a third time. This time, Yoda wrote: “Eating in the cafeteria, I am.” Annoyed at Master Yoda for dodging his request, the young Jedi Knight gave up.

Weeks later, the same young Jedi ran into Yoda in the Main Atrium. Yoda asked him why they had never had a meeting. Exasperated, the young man cried out, “Because you always had an excuse! You never made time for me.” Yoda slowly shook his head. “My child, sadly mistaken you are. My heart was to see you, and I told you where to find me. Wanted you to join me, I did. Sad was I, when you never showed.”

Whoever who has ears to hear, let them hear.